Friday, March 21, 2014

Yellow Tail Sweet Red Roo

I have spent a lot of time hemming and hawing over whether or not to write this. The reason being that I have never reviewed a wine on here that I have found to be abysmal. There is always this part of me that is afraid of giving a wine a terrible review and invoking the wrath of devotees or even hurt sales. But then I said to myself, "Self, you're being silly. The twelve people who read your blog aren't going boycott Yellow Tail and put them out of business. And as for invoking wrath, hey, that's the risk you take when you put your opinions out there on the interwebs, right?"

So here goes, my first F- review...
Generally speaking, I like my whites sweet and my reds dry. So perhaps I should have seen it coming when I wanted to spit Yellow Tail's Sweet Red Roo (SRR, cause I'm lazy) back into my glass. This wine was almost painful to drink. Not because of the flavor --although I wasn't a fan of that either-- but because it's so sweet. This wine is so sweet that any actual flavor is nearly undiscernable.

The first thing you'll notice is that the SRR has a vibrant red color. It smells heavily (surprise!) of sugar. Not like the granulated kind, but a syrupy sweetness. Not altogether unpleasant.
The sip, however, is COMPLETELY overwhelmed by this sweetness. If you're a fan of high-fructose corn syrup as a beverage, this won't much matter to you. But if you're expecting something that will taste even vaguely alcoholic (or like wine), you will probably be disappointed.

To get a good idea of what I mean, go to the store, buy yourself a bottle of grape juice, break the seal and leave it your trunk from June 1st to September 1st. Voila! Also, your teeth might ache. And you might bounce off the walls for a little while. And if you drink enough, I can promise you the worst hangover of your life.

One positive side to all will make you feel like a teenager again. Pour it into a soda bottle and drink it in your parents' basement for good measure. On a serious note, this wine is best served chilled, and would be a nice compliment to any hot-tub-type party. If you're planning one and have non-wine-drinking company coming over, the SRR is a good place to start. Just watch out for the morning after; it's a doozy!

Price: $

Rating: F- (I wasn't kidding)

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