Friday, March 21, 2014

Yellow Tail Sweet Red Roo

I have spent a lot of time hemming and hawing over whether or not to write this. The reason being that I have never reviewed a wine on here that I have found to be abysmal. There is always this part of me that is afraid of giving a wine a terrible review and invoking the wrath of devotees or even hurt sales. But then I said to myself, "Self, you're being silly. The twelve people who read your blog aren't going boycott Yellow Tail and put them out of business. And as for invoking wrath, hey, that's the risk you take when you put your opinions out there on the interwebs, right?"

So here goes, my first F- review...
Generally speaking, I like my whites sweet and my reds dry. So perhaps I should have seen it coming when I wanted to spit Yellow Tail's Sweet Red Roo (SRR, cause I'm lazy) back into my glass. This wine was almost painful to drink. Not because of the flavor --although I wasn't a fan of that either-- but because it's so sweet. This wine is so sweet that any actual flavor is nearly undiscernable.

The first thing you'll notice is that the SRR has a vibrant red color. It smells heavily (surprise!) of sugar. Not like the granulated kind, but a syrupy sweetness. Not altogether unpleasant.
The sip, however, is COMPLETELY overwhelmed by this sweetness. If you're a fan of high-fructose corn syrup as a beverage, this won't much matter to you. But if you're expecting something that will taste even vaguely alcoholic (or like wine), you will probably be disappointed.

To get a good idea of what I mean, go to the store, buy yourself a bottle of grape juice, break the seal and leave it your trunk from June 1st to September 1st. Voila! Also, your teeth might ache. And you might bounce off the walls for a little while. And if you drink enough, I can promise you the worst hangover of your life.

One positive side to all will make you feel like a teenager again. Pour it into a soda bottle and drink it in your parents' basement for good measure. On a serious note, this wine is best served chilled, and would be a nice compliment to any hot-tub-type party. If you're planning one and have non-wine-drinking company coming over, the SRR is a good place to start. Just watch out for the morning after; it's a doozy!

Price: $

Rating: F- (I wasn't kidding)

Saturday, March 8, 2014

Out of the Box Sangiovese Umbria

Naming this wine "Out of the Box" is a bit misleading. Because it's a boxed wine!!! :-O
It occured to me the other day that when I started this blog I heartily insisted that you CAN, in fact, get good wine in a box (because you can!). And then I never told you about any. For shame! Well here's one for you...
Out of the Box (hereafter refered to as OotB) Sangiovese is, in all honesty, a surprisingly good wine. If you can get past the stigma of the box (honestly, boxes get a bad rap), you'll probably be pleasantly surprised and glad that you tried it! I know I was, so I'm going to tell you all about it...

But first, some compelling evidence why boxed wine is (subjectively) AWESOME:

1.) You get more bang for your buck. $25 for a box of wine might seem like a lot, but generally those boxes hold five liters of wine. FIVE LITERS! That's 6 and 2/3 regular-sized bottles of wine!*

2.) If you can't finish it shortly after opening (seriously, you can't. At least, I hope you can't), it stays good for practically EVER. That's because inside the box is an airtight bag, so when you get wine out, air doesn't get in and cause the wine to turn on you. A box of wine can last you for weeks, or even months.
this gives me heart palpitations...
3.) If you drop it, the worst that will happen is you will have a dented box. No shattered glass or wine stained carpets. Who couldn't get behind THAT?!?!
4.) It looks, smells, and tastes like bottled wine once its poured in the glass. Magic!

Overall, OotB Sangiovese Umbria is a pleasant and smooth table wine, with just the right amount of expressive fruits balanced against a light acidity. You'll notice the scent of berries right off, and detect them in the sip as well. No hint of bite, this one won't tweak your cheeks or make you pucker your lips if you choose to sip it unaccompanied.

OotB Sangiovse is also a great compliment to a meal. Not super dry or particularly sweet, this one's juuuuuuust right. Enjoy with a light pasta and breadsticks. Maybe one of those Barilla dinner for twos...or a loaf of Italian bread dipped in Ragu. You know, just to keep things classy.

Price: $$

Rating: B+

* some now come in a 3 liter size, and with some brands you can even go smaller than that. But come on folks, 3 liters is still a LOT of wine!