Adventures in Mulling Wine

It's just about mid-December and a frigid 49.6 degrees outside. I know you're thinking: "S#it, I'm freezing! I wish I had something warm and alcoholic to drink. But I don't really want to go to the bar to get it, and my car is out of gas, so that's right out."

Friends, I aim to please. Over the weekend, I experimented with mulling wine, and I've got my hand-crafted (I made it up), time-tested (it was still good the next day) recipe for you!

This guy needs all the mulled
wine he can get...

But first, some info-tainment...

Mulled wine goes waaaaaay back to medieval times as a health drink (think Ensure for the peasantry). It's basically just red wine, spices and fruits served hot or warm. Since winters were cold and water disgusting, mulled wine got many a medieval peep through a long, hard winter. 

Mulling wine is pretty easy, and it's a great weekend activity for you and yours. Even if you don't want to drink it, it smells fantastic and will fill your house with holiday spirit(s).

Here are the simple instructions that I just now made up...

Casually Mulled Wine-

You will need:

And sugar. And brandy or cognac. Oh, and a crock pot. The happy, decorative star is optional.

Instructions:

1.) Buy 1.5 liters of cheap red wine. Or good red wine, if you want, but you're just going to add stuff to it, so it doesn't need to be top shelf. Dry is better for this venture. I chose Liberty Creek Cabernet Sauvignon. At $8.99 a bottle, it was a small dent to the wallet.

2.) Pour wine into the crock pot. Place on low heat.

3.) Incompetently shred one medium sized orange. Add to wine.

4.) While you're at it, throw in 10 whole cloves, 4 cinnamon sticks, 2 teaspoons of ground allspice, and 1/2 cup of granulated sugar.

5.) Stir that bad boy up!

6.) Add 30 oz. of Crapple juice (cran-apple). This is best accomplished buy purchasing a 32 oz. bottle and "tasting" approximately two ounces of juice, then dumping the rest in.

7.) Add 4 oz. of cognac or brandy. If you have a truly awesome cognac that someone gave you as a gift, but you don't drink cognac so it just sits there, all the better. Use that one.

8.) Mix it up, cover, and leave it alone for at least 3.5 hours. 

You'll notice it starts to smell fantastic, and really, as long as it's heated through you are good to go. Garnish with an orange slice and/or cinnamon stick and enjoy!